Just 60 more sleeps to Vietnam and our preparations are running like clockwork, alarmingly like one of those old East German alarm clocks- consistently in the wrong time zone and loud like an air raid siren, to the point we are calmly running around panicked and on the verge of shitting ourselves.
Vicky Bowen has successfully applied for her two Vietnam visas, including one for just in case her plane arrives in Hanoi a month early. To celebrate my visa success, I’m furiously trying arrange thank you beers with Jenny’s agent in Hanoi but failing, so he is either definitely a robot or a staunch teetotaller!
In the mean while Jenny focuses on multi multi-tasking: furiously knitting Izzy Dolls, her gang is over one hundred strong and growing, whilst also preparing breakfast, lunch and dinner for 15 people for 7 days for Bulawayo to Vic Falls at the end of November. Fortunately Jenny has help in the kitchen. Unfortunately, I am the one.
Also unfortunately, Jenny is practising giving instructions without without pointing, because pointing is the height of rude in Vietnam. Helping Jenny is no easy task, especially when every single thing in our kitchen is called a thing, and it’s kept in that cupboard over there, and FYI, there are 19 cupboards in our kitchen, and the thing that Jenny needs now five minutes ago before the stuff on the stove burns is always in the last cupboard. I would rather be riding my bike.
The riders are training hard. To brace themselves for the sweltering heat in November, Carol Joy and Anna Muscat are riding in the sweltering heat in Germany, importantly remembering to stay fully hydrated with white wine, also from Germany. To prepare for the hills in Vietnam, Alex Kirkman rode the Blue Cross, 500 km from Zimbabwe’s lowest point, to her highest. Alastair Watermeyer also rode the Blue Cross, even though there aren’t any hills between Bulawayo and Vic Falls, silly man.
The Blue Cross remains Zimbabwe’s most iconic endurance event, and it is the benchmark for doing epic, so big Chapeau to Alastair and Alex, both of whom will piss me off hugely on the bikes because after the Blue Cross, Vietnam and Vic Falls will seem a downhill doddle to them, whereas I will be sweating like one of Jenny’s kitchen assistants.
I wanted to ride the Blue Cross this year but fortunately a dog bit my leg off last month. Also fortunately, the surgery to reattach my leg was successful, and I am finally back on the bike, and clocked up 130 km last week, mostly riding in Zone Two. I actually have no clue what or where Zone Two is, but claiming it gives me badly needed street-cred, and I just hope they also have a Zone Two in Vietnam.
To prepare for the 45 million motorbikes in Hanoi, I passed the same motorbike six times on my training ride yesterday, although that that was more to do with the condition of the motorbike, than my average speed which continues pathetic. I was also able to successfully dodge two broken-down trucks, and three broken-down Honda Fits, so the road was quite busy.
My friends and I are riding 3000 kilometres across two continents and will brave lions, elephants and Vietnamese dogs on the Ho Chi Minh trail, to raise money and awareness for two very splendid charities, Pensioners in Zimbabwe, and also the Friendship Bench, the mental health initiative creating safe spaces for vulnerable people in Zimbabwe and across the world.
Please be introduced to two of my team mates, Ryan Moss from Zimbabwe, and Macca McKenny from Queensland, Australia, both Old Legs stalwarts and repeat offenders.
This will be Macca’s first time to visit Zimbabwe, and I very much look forward to introducing him to Africa, and to some of the many old folk that he has suffered up so many hills to help.
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For the pensioners- https://www.gofundme.com/f/old-legs-tour-2026-vietnam-to-victoria-falls
And in support of the Friendship Bench- www.friendshipbench.org/donate
Until my next blog, don’t point, beware the dogs, and Have Fun, Do Good, Do Epic if you can- Eric Chicken Legs de Jong
* Names and images may have been changed for privacy reasons
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