20 March 2025
The anaesthetics of accounting, all roads lead, to Rome, and the Old Legs Friendship Tour Europe 2025.
Thank God all roads lead to Rome because my Third World has been rather mundane in March. So, apologies for a slim pickings blog with little drama, not much excitement, and no Donald Trump rants, because my mom always told me if you can’t say something nice about a person, then don’t say anything!!! NB As per always, the views in this blog are mine, and might not be shared by the charities I support, etcetera, etcetera.
Other than stock markets crashing, the most stand out things in February March were a busted derailleur on my bike and a huge bass fish that leapt out of the water right in front of my kayak. Having spent the last six months with my rubber worm proving there are no fish in the dam, the sight of the frolicking bass was especially irksome.
This blog would be a complete write off but for the man who fell asleep at my Annual General Meeting as soon as the Treasurer started on his report. It was jolly l exciting, the guy who fell asleep that is, not the report. We hadn’t even got as deep as capital depreciation and the guy’s head flopped to one side that violently, I thought he’d been shot by a sniper. He woke up three hours later, just in time to vote. Which could be an option for the next 4 years in America.
Quickly moving on to roads to Rome. On the 25th of May Patrick Millar will ride out of Hoddesdon, Hertfordshire headed to London, then to the Francigena via the Pilgrim’s Way, before finally arriving in Rome some 3000 kilometres and an incredible 33,500 meters of climb later, unless he gets temporarily disoriented. FYI Patrick, a big fan of the navigation app Komoot, never gets lost, he only gets temporarily disoriented.
Patrick will ride to Rome solo and unsupported, with all his worldly belongings on his bike, apart from the important stuff he forgets at home. Patrick has just celebrated his 76th birthday. He is riding to celebrate life and to raise money for Zimbabwe’s beleaguered pensioners. I have generously gifted Patrick my grasp of Italian greetings including ciao and arrivederci, which I only grasped in the first place because I thought they were Spanish.
The thought of a 76 year old riding across a continent to raise money for Zimbabwe’s pensioners is powerful stuff. Patrick is a serial offender in this blog, first appearing 2 years ago on the Old Legs Great Divide Ride, when he became the first cyclist to almost plunge to his death on the Victoria Falls Gorge Swing, 90 metres straight down in 4 seconds flat. Then to celebrate his 75th birthday, Patrick rode the Old Legs Tour of New Zealand, from Cape Reinga on the top of the North Island, to Bluff at the bottom of the South Island, again riding solo, and with all his belongings on his bike, again to raise money for Zimbabwe’s pensioners.
Patrick stands 5 foot 6 inches in his socks, and he looks like a librarian, but not as macho. He is one of my real life heroes and I want to be like him when I grow up. Please support Patrick all the way to Rome and please follow the donate prompts below.
On a similar note, a huge shout out to everyone involved in just ended Mdala Trust / Old Legs Tour de Kaap. Kudos to CJ Bradshaw for making it happen for the third year running, ditto to route masters Rob Skinner and Gary Prothero for putting together a very tough ride through some of the most spectacular scenery since my life. Big chapeau to all the riders and the support crew and thank you and God bless to the Mdala Trust for giving hope and turning on a light for so many Zimbabwean pensioners.
In other related news, we have assembled a stellar cast for the Old Legs Friendship Tour of Europe 2025, and I much look forward to introducing them in the months ahead. Our Friendship Tour will now start in Montpellier, France on September 11, not Perpignan, because Perpignan is harder to pronounce. We’ll follow the Way of St James, over the Pyrenees, through Pamplona, Santiago del Compostela and Lisbon, finishing in Tavira on the Algarve on October 9. Please watch this space for further details.
And in other unrelated news, the US has given Zimbabwe 6 weeks to address concerns, otherwise we’ll be upgraded to a strictly no visa shit list, along with the likes of North Korea, Yemen and Bhutan. NB This is my first time hearing about Bhutan.
Possibly related to the above, the Zim government has introduced dress codes at various buildings including the Central Vehicle Registry, with strictly no admission for women wearing sleeveless tops, shorts, miniskirts or ripped jeans. Having solved the problem of slovenly dressed drivers, hopefully they’ll start enforcing other rules, like don’t drive through red robots, don’t overtake busses and trucks already overtaking on double white lines and blind rises, or strictly no more than 14 passengers in a Honda Fit, etcetera, etcetera.
I don’t know what the American concerns are exactly but given our performance over the last thirty years, it is a safe bet we’ll be upgraded to the shit list, in which case the Old Legs Friendship Tour of the USA 2026 will have to be moved to Canada, unless Canada gets annexed, in which case we’ll move it to Madagascar.
Unless social media is to be believed, and our on again, off again, on again coup is back on again, pencilled in for a prompt start country wide on March 31, which should all be jolly exciting, unless of course the coup is off again. Again, watch this space.
In closing, a big shout out to my 5-year-old grandson Colton for being very brave whilst bursting his appendix, even though it was very sore. Shame, the poor little guy was so sick and was almost set to become far much sicker when someone wanted to proscribe laxatives instead of a visit to the doctor when he first started writhing in pain. Thank God for mother’s intuition and Doctor Google.
And another big shout out and get better soon to Jacquie Anderson from Miracle Missions, also recovering from a burst appendix, and to Viv Jones, also in hospital but not because of a burst appendix, and to Bob Hamill, also in hospital, also not because of a burst appendix.
NB Small wonder I’ve spent 65 years dreading bursting my appendix, on the assumption it was big and fat like a pink polony, but was hugely relieved to find out it is tiny like my pinkie finger. Like my mom also said, you learn something new every day.
Until my next blog next month, have fun and enjoy, and don’t burst your appendix
Eric de Jong
* Names and images may have been changed for privacy reasons
If you are already a ZANE donor, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. If you are not a donor but would like to be, please follow the link below and know that every donation, however big or small, goes directly to where it is most needed. If you would like to help but can’t donate, please join the ZANE family and ‘like’ or ‘share’ our posts or write us a Google review – every positive step helps spread the word about the life changing work ZANE does.
Thank you – Nicky Passaportis ZANE Australia
Please donate to support pensioners struggling to survive in Zimbabwe
Any assistance is greatly appreciated and goes a long way to giving our pensioners a better quality of life and lift the pressure of money worries which is very debilitating emotionally.
(Donations made to ZANE in Australia, are tax-deductible)